Lilly and I had barely walked into the local Senior Care Center when a shout came from the nearby activity room: “It’s Lilly coming to visit!” Lilly tugs mightily on her lead to get to Frau Petrović*, who happens to be sitting the closest to the door this Friday morning. Lilly wags her tail furiously and happily snuggles up to her to ecstatically accept any and all scritches, hugs and praise that might be on offer. I give Frau Petrović a little treat to give to Lilly. She holds it a bit over Lilly’s head who responds with a compliant sitting up before gently taking it from her fingers.
The greeting is repeated in one form or another all morning as we continue our visit to the dining and recreation areas. Frau Weber, on the first floor, has her own supply of treats, meaning that Lilly will immediately get three or four instead of just one. Oh, joy! Herr Novák is often asleep at the breakfast table when we arrive, but always awakens with the exclamation “Who is this who just arrived?”
Frau Jankowski’s dining room place is near the corner where she can look out through windows in two directions. She has beautifully groomed white hair framing a deeply wrinkled forehead and face. Lilly’s appearance next to her sparks a radiant smile as she strokes her head and ears. Her wedding ring, now several sizes too large, twists to one side of her finger. The sparkling diamond flashes in the morning light, then disappears momentarily behind clumps of fur. She can’t quite manage the treat for Lilly and drops it on the floor. It’s not a problem for Lilly. She snaps it up, then cuddles against Frau Jankowski for more petting.
Frau Armin, on the second floor, caresses Lilly, runs her fingers through her fur, and strokes her under her chin. She looks at me with a radiant smile and tells me about her dogs that she had cared for and loved when she still lived with her family. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t remember that she has already told me these stories on many previous visits. The gratifying joy in her face says clearly that her dogs are living for her again in the retelling.
The loss of memory is much more profound with Frau Knigge. We walk by her as she sits in her wheelchair, staring off into the distance with no apparent awareness at all of anything going on around her. I stop for a moment while Lilly looks at her inquisitively. Tears form in the corners of my eyes and I console myself by imagining a flicker of recognition in her eyes as we leave.
Herr Hoffman can no longer manage to sit up at the dining tables and is largely confined to his room and bed. Lilly and I make a special point of visiting him there. I pull up a chair and sit with Lilly in my lap next to him. His arms are painfully thin, there are crusty dark spots on the back of his hands, and his fingers are bent and stiff from arthritis. Even so, he is not going to miss the chance to touch Lilly. He painfully shifts in his bed a little and I try to bring her a little closer. We always have a delightful conversation. He tells me how much he had loved his dogs and always asks what I have been doing recently with theater. After awhile I realize he is tiring and so tell him that Lilly and I need to go but promise to return again the following Friday. He always tells me how grateful he was for our visit as I return the chair to its proper place and leave.
At 11 our visit for the week is almost over and we head down the stairs to head home. In the hallway we see Frau Armin again, eagerly pushing her walking chair down the hallway toward us. Her enthusiastic greeting and petting of Lilly almost convinces me that I had only imagined that she had done the same thing less than 20 minutes earlier.
I bid her adieu with “See you next Friday!” after she has given Lilly one more treat and we head home over the narrow trail through Ebersberger Forst. Lilly loves the freedom to sniff and explore and dashes on ahead, only looking back occasionally to be sure I’m following her. I am – until I turn a sharp corner of the trail and am embraced by the breathtaking beauty of this Fall day.
I stand absolutely still and try to take it all in. The trail can scarcely be seen under all the brown, dried up and curled leaves. Trees of every shape and size line both sides, some still with a few green leaves, others with bright yellow or golden ones waiting for their time to join those on the ground. Evergreen trees are so aptly named, yet their needles too will eventually brown and fall to add their particular form of nurture to the forest floor.
Countless tree trunks laying on their sides are visible among the trees, some felled by great age, others by the saws of the forest maintenance crews.
Lilly reappears from behind the trees blocking the next turn in the trail, staring at me in puzzlement. “Daddy, now is the time to go home!” she seems to be saying.
I take a deep breath, noisily scuffle the dried leaves under my feet, and follow her as she again disappears around the bend.
* The names of the residents have been changed.
